Monday, November 5th

The phone rang at 7:15 AM on October 11th. Michael, Mark's best friend in Seattle, called to tell us that Mark had died the evening before. Peter, screaming in disbelief, called Mark's name over and over again. We clung to each other as grief washed over us relentlessly.

Mark and his Maria were on Lopez Island when Mark passed away. Michael and Bret had offered their beautiful retreat to them for a much needed 10 day vacation. With no internet, no regular phone service, it was one of Mark's favorite places and he had called Michael on October 10th to tell him it had been the happiest week of his life. To show their appreciation, Mark and Maria washed the windows. Doing so Mark fell off the ladder but was able to walk over to a chair with view of the ocean. A short time later he died. Maria told us that the last time she looked into his eyes the sunset was reflected in them.

Mark had an extremely low platelet count due to his health issues. His blood was not able to coagulate and he died of internal bleeding.

We got back from Seattle a week ago where we spent 2 weeks with Vanja, our 21 year old grandson, and Maria. Heidi came for part of the time. Her loving presence was of immeasurable importance to all of us as we tried to move through the days.

As the executor of the will Peter was extremely busy the whole time making sure that Vanja's affairs would be in order before we returned to Maine.  Needless to say it was hard work since he often was overcome with grief.

Mark had an unusually large circle of very close friends. They were stunned and grieving deeply, reaching out to us in many loving ways. All of them told us that Mark had been the most generous person they had ever met. One of the labs at Tideworks will from now on be called Mark Graf Lab or some such in appreciation of Mark's considerable contribution to the company. They will send us a picture once the plaque is placed on the door.

Peter and I are trying to come to terms with the inevitable. We are grateful to have each other, to be in the stillness of our home. We talk, we cry, we try to accept, we read the many thoughtful and loving letters and e-mails from friends and family near and far.

Our sweet baby.....

Heidi is back at her demanding job. I don't know how she copes. Time and again we look at a photo album together that Peter made for Mark. It was a gift for his 20th birthday, a review of Mark's life up to that point.  We smile tenderly at snippets of his life, our life together. She has mementos which she treasures. Heidi, Ron and the girls come over for dinners or we go there, taking comfort in being together.

Maria took a part of Mark's ashes back to Sweden. She made a memory quilt and put it in the woods by a juniper Mark particularly liked, at a spot that was special to both of them.

Vanja is packing up Mark's incredible collections of lucite, curios and art and putting everything into storage for the time being since he will be selling the house. Vanja is planning to come to Maine for Thanksgiving. Our hearts go out to him as he tries to accept his big loss and wish we wouldn't live so far away. Mark and he had a very close relationship.

........in Minneapolis, 2 months old

19 years old in Duebendorf

Mark and Maria on the ferry to Lopez

At the retreat on Lopez. Mark's 50th birthday would have been April13th, 2013

It isn't easy to find words to express our grief. Our memories of Mark are rich, our sorrow too deep.

Easter Sunday, April 8th 2012, the last time we were together with Mark. Peter had come home from the hospital the week before

This past Friday we did have some good news. Peter's biopsy results show that he is clean! we celebrated with a big fat Porterhouse steak from the grill and a Grand Crus '84 Saint Emillion. Peter's next bone marrow biopsy won't be until next February. I wish we could tell Mark..................