Thursday, April 11th 2013

Once the thick snow cover had melted away these hyacinths poked through the ground a few weeks ago only to be dumped on again in another blizzard. They persevered and bloom triumphantly on this drizzly morning. A bit like us!

We have gone through very rough times since our last post. Peter's second round of Vidaza left him weakened and short of breath with frighteningly low blood values for weeks at a time. Since his white blood cells were near zero and the neutrophils nonexistent, his immune system was shot. During his third round of Vidaza Peter suddenly developed a high fever and had to be admitted to Maine Med on March1st.

Two different kinds of broad spectrum antibiotics  as well as fluids were administered intravenously. When the fever spiked, Peter was given Tylenol which made him sweat profusely for hours, thankfully lowering the fever, but leaving him so weak that he could barely walk. Many tests were done to pinpoint the cause of the infection, but they never found anything specific, not an uncommon occurrence. It was very scary. I slept in Peter's room at the hospital, a comfort to both of us.

When Peter was released on March 5th he had to be supported when walking, the stairs were a problem.The slow process of recovery began. Frequent low grade fevers had to be monitored day and night. He was prescribed the strongest possible dose of oral antibiotics.

We spent many hours of many days getting blood and platelets, the record being one day at Gibson from 9AM until 7PM. Naturally Peter grew increasingly agitated and fed up with all the poking and probing.

Since he was constantly cold, Peter was happiest lying on the couch under a handwoven woolen blanket we had bought in the Atlas mountains of Morocco almost 2 1/2 years ago, sometimes listening to music but mostly just being. His appetite diminished, but we still managed to make our evening meals the candlelit ritual we enjoy. As always I filled the house with flowers. Peter did not want to go on living. We cried.

But then, ever so gradually, Peter regained his strength and while holding on to me was able to take little walks.

Due to the long hard winter we had this year most of our favorite hiking spots were off limits for Peter. They were either too icy or too hard to navigate due to the thick snow cover, so walks in the neighborhood were frequently the only option. It took all of my persuasive powers to cajole him to go out into the icy cold, but it was so important to at least get that bit of exercise. He talked wistfully about tennis and being on the slopes.

On March 12th Peter had a bone marrow biopsy. we waited anxiously for the results and about a week later were overjoyed to find out that the Vidaza is working. That means Peter's Leukemia is in check for now.

Since about three weeks Peter's blood values have climbed steadily to what is considered normal. It has been wonderful! A vacation of sorts. We have enjoyed going to friends for dinner, to concerts, the theater, restaurants and even entertaining. Peter is reading more again and has resumed going through and sorting out boxes of photographs and slides. Does anyone need slide carousels? We have loads.

We just returned from a walk at Gilsland Farm where we saw the first swallow of the season up high. Several groundhogs were busy making burrows and the air was filled with birdsong. We saw the willows in their yellow spring dresses, the swollen buds on trees and bushes, all sure signs of nature burgeoning into spring.

Peter and I were amazed that the magnificent crow, the Sentinel, had survived the winter unscathed with not a feather out of place. Last year, on July 1st to be exact, we watched the artists Donna Dodson and Andy Moerlen construct it from twigs which they had stained black. Mark loved crows and I sent the picture to him then.

This Saturday, April 13th, Mark would have been 50 years old. Like every year I would have sent him a Linzertorte.

I baked four of them this week. One we shipped to his son Vanja, two to his special friends in Seattle and one is for us. On Saturday we will watch a movie Maria made of Mark's last visit in Sweden and since she won't be here at least skype with her.

Peter started the fourth round of Vidaza last Monday, on April 8th . So far he is tolerating it remarkably well and we are keeping our fingers crossed that his blood values won't drop as drastically as the other times and that he does not have to go on antibiotics again.

Throughout the hard times we endured,  Heidi, Ron and the girls were a solace to us with their sweet and unwavering presence. Paris was on break from Syracuse University for a week and spent a good part of the time at our house. She and I managed to spend an afternoon making wrap bracelets. Fun!!!

I continued going to Pilates at least twice weekly which kept me sane and grounded.

We are deeply grateful to our dear neighbors who plowed us out each time another storm hit. And to Heidi and dear friends who brought all those delicious meals while we were at the hospital. They not only nourished our bodies but also our very souls. 

Since I had not posted on the blog for such a long time, we received mail as well as calls from concerned friends and I want to thank all of you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. 

Love carries and sustains us as we continue on our journey. 

In closing some pictures Heidi took of us at a restaurant a few weeks ago.

Sending love, Peter and Jutta