Monday, May 27th

The garden, our oasis, is ready for Peter. I have been able to work in it over the weekend thanks to the help of friends and Heidi. All the containers are filled, the seedlings have settled into their new home and the weeds are on the compost pile.

The first roses are ready to open in a few days. Peter loves roses and we have found some that do well in our shady backyard. The peonies will be spectacular this year, as will the poppies. Their buds are swollen and ready to pop.

This afternoon Peter rounded a corner. I heard it in his voice when I called him around 5 to say I'd be over with dinner soon. We are fantasizing about him coming home within the next two days.

Erik Jorgensen, our next door neighbor, offered to clip the hedge that surrounds our property. He wrote: "I'm writing to tell you that I'd be so pleased to clip your hedge - it's something I can do to help - and I'm a better clipper than, perhaps, I am a cook!" 

We gratefully accepted the generous offer. He clipped away all afternoon today, taking time out from a busy schedule. Erik, a Democrat, is running for the Maine House of Representatives. He said to me that he wanted the hedge to look just as Peter likes it when he comes home. Imagine!

When Peter went to the hospital last time, Erik's wife Tamara made a huge badge of lentil soup for us the day before she left for London on a business trip.

Time and again I have watched these two wonderful people help where help was needed. They are generous to the core and we are grateful to be the recipients of their kindness at this time.

Speaking of kind and generous: yesterday our dear friend Lucian prepared another delicious lunch for us. This  time it was Stroganoff with golden wide noodles and local asparagus. Peter and I were in heaven as we ate the elegant and utterly delectable meal.

Marie, Lucian's wife and Peter's Tart Angel,  baked one of her stellar creations for dessert, an Alsatian Rhubarb Meringue Tart. Just look at those artfully arranged whirls of meringue! The tart was not only lovely to behold but also transcendently delicious. Peter and I agreed that it could have come from the finest French Confisserie.

Peter and I feel lucky to have such a strong support system. We love to read your posts. They give Peter a big lift, as do the letters and e-mails we have received as well as the phone calls. Thank you for all the kind and loving support you send our way.

Friday, May 25th

While Peter is sequestered at Maine Med, the hosta bed he established a couple of years ago, has grown into a wild and lush sea of greens. The last two drizzly days were manna for the plants as they unfurled their leaves in wild abandon.

Today was not the best of days. Peter's neutrophils, the generals as one nurse calls them, have been on vacation for 5 days. The 0 on the chart is staring at us. Although Peter is listless he is hanging in there, forcing himself to make his rounds and trying to stay positive. Hopefully tomorrow will bring the change we are waiting for. Thankfully the platelets climbed to 66000 as of this morning and his red cells are good too.

Peter continues to get Reiki sessions on a regular basis. In addition the osteopaths have seen him 3 or more times a week. It is all quite wonderful. As is the nursing staff. Luckily Peter is a low maintenance kind of guy, but whenever he needs help they are there for him. James, Peter's CNA today, told me that the staff is inspired by our way of dealing with Peter's illness. He says we are a good team. Guess we are, love is our glue.

There have been some very hard cases on Gibson the past two weeks. The strain of taking care of these patients takes its toll on the staff, one can see it in their faces. To treat Peter, who is making progress, must be uplifting.

Dr. Boyd hasn't said he is boring for a while, but she seems to be happy with the way things are progressing. Even though it's a holiday weekend for her, she will be checking in on Peter. What dedication!

I know you are all wondering what Peter has been eating. Here are some of the goodies Peter has enjoyed the past week. I have become an expert at bringing food to the hospital hot when required.

Clockwise from the upper left hand corner you see:

Pork scallopini, mashed potatoes and a medley of stewed vegetables....

fennel, carrots, celery and onions

Marie's delicious almond cherry cake

Suzi's version of one of Peter's favorites, Zwiebelwaehe. A kind of Swiss onion and leek quiche

Culotte steak, brown basmati rice, string beans with onions, garlic and cherry tomatoes

Be well and enjoy life!

Yesterday Peter entered week three at Maine Med. The neutrophils have finally dropped to 0, the waiting game begins until his blood values rise again. Because Peter is in remission, probably because he received less chemo, he is in much better shape than last time when I had a hard time persuading him to get out of bed. We would walk ever so slowly along those corridors, Peter's arm resting on my shoulder for support. Not this time. Peter is out and about to keep himself from going stir crazy. He goes to the courtyard at frequent intervals, does his morning exercises and even has taken advantage of the "kitchen" to toast some bread for breakfast a couple of times. I organized a fridge for Peter's room which is stocked with jams, butter, yoghurt and left over tarts from Marie, his "tart angel".

Heidi suggested I put a lamb fur on Peter's chair. When Ciara and Ysanne where born we bought one for each on a farm in Deer Isle. The girls were very attached to them and later, when they went to school, would lie on their furs on sick days spent at our house. They are almost 16 now but I kept that remnant of their childhood. Washed and re-lanolized they have found a new purpose.

On to more fiber: Since Mark's Maria knitted Peter a pair of colorful socks he does not want to wear his Pumas anymore. I had a hard time wresting the elegant footwear from him to be washed. So Maria let those needles fly and made two more pairs which arrived from Sweden in a beautiful package.

I took this picture today when Peter was lying on the Hudson Bay blanket he won on a fishing trip in Minnesota about 30 years ago and which he wanted to take along to the hospital. Funny how objects from home, from our real life, become monumentally important in this sterile environment.

A month ago Christina came over with an almost finished Jacques Cousteau hat which she had knitted for Peter. If you look closely you can see the knitting needles sticking out on top of Peter's head. This was the third hat she created for him and everyone's favorite. I meant to post the picture at that time.

Christina has also brought wonderful CD's to the hospital. I have walked into Peter's room with Maria Callas singing arias or to the strains of flamenco guitar.

So you see, we are making the best of a bad situation. Peter is immersed in a book about Kennedy right now that his friend Peter lent him, we eat well, we try to be patient and to live in the moment.

Thank you for being there for us!

Friday, May 18th

Buddha in our garden this afternoon

The Dorrances dropped off YOUR TRUE HOME by Thich Nhat Hanh a few days ago. We thank them for their thoughtfulness.

It has been a wonderful experience for Peter to read and process the insightfulness offered in the book. I asked Peter to pick out a passage that resonates with him at this moment:

 "The future is being made out of the present, so the best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present moment. This is logical and clear. Spending a lot of time speculating and worrying about the future is totally useless. We can only take care of our future by taking care of the present moment, because the future is made out of only one substance: the present. Only if you are anchored in the present, can you prepare well for the future."


Today was day 12 since Peter is back at Maine Med and day 5 since chemo stopped. Bizarre as it may sound we are happy to report that his blood values are finally dropping. The neutrophils are down to 0.87 and his platelets down to 10000. We are waiting for the neutrophils to go to 0. Peter is more tired and he received a bag of platelets today. I guess as of tomorrow Peter will be wearing a mask again when he goes out in public since once more his immune system will be shot.

We are hoping Peter's blood values will rebound quickly and that he will be back home in about 10 days. The garden is waiting.

Brunnera in full bloom

Monday, May 14th

This merry band of friends got together last Friday for some serious cooking in the pizza oven Scott built. Since we couldn't be there they spontaneously created the poster held by Torie and Ted. How sweet is that? A High Five to friendship!

Sunday, May 13th

Peter is untethered as of tonight. He had been on a continuous drip of chemo since Tuesday.

So far he has weathered the treatment very well physically. We are keeping our fingers crossed that there won't be any nasty things popping up this week as his blood counts drops.

Peter has been tired the past two days. Even though he is doing amazingly well, he felt blue today thinking of the road ahead. Who can blame him! Rereading books in German by Remarque and Duerrenmatt has been a welcome escape into another world.

We have been enjoying excursions to the courtyard for the past three days since the sun finally came out again after several days of rain. Peter longs to be outdoors, even in a confined environment. And guess what, weather 

permitting, he goes down there to do his morning exercises. Unfortunately I have never arrived early enough to take a picture of my athlete.

Of course we have been eating well. Soon I will post a recipe of a spring greens quiche I made recently. Peter loves quiche, Peter loves cream, so there is lots of that in there. Remember, I need to fatten him up. One of the male nurses gave me strict orders the other day to forget making all that healthy low fat food.

Today being Mothers Day I decided to have a day off from cooking. I defrosted a yummy cassoulet Christina had made for us three weeks ago and Marie, the master baker,  brought over a delicious peach tart at tea time. Heidi and I spent a few hours in in our garden eating sushi for lunch and enjoying each other's company. Mark called to wish me happy Mothers Day and we skyped at length when I returned to the hospital. It was a nice day.

Last night Heidi prepared dinner, one of her stellar Asian dishes with baby bok choy and tofu. She spent the evening with Peter while I went to a wine tasting dinner with dear friends. The focus was Spanish white wines served with a 6 course Spanish inspired meal. I had a wonderful time and met some interesting people. I wished Peter were there. He loves Spanish wine. But there is a plan. Once Peter is done with all of his treatments and is well again, we will celebrate with a Tapas dinner at Mary and Peter's house.

Many thanks to all of you for your posts, e-mails, cards and letters full of love and caring. It means so much to us to know we are not alone in this fight.

Tuesday, May 8th

Walking along Ferry Beach this past Sunday we watched swallows dropping from the sky at break neck speed, fly close to the ground and rise up again. It's nesting time.

That evening Heidi and Ron invited us for a Mexican inspired feast, Peter's last dinner before going to the hospital the next day. Ciara and Ysanne showed off the spring clothes they got the day before, Duckie [ the lab] was his usual exuberant self, we ate, we talked, it was good to be together.

After breakfast in the sunroom the next morning, we walked around the garden, our little oasis, so pretty in the spring as leafs unfurl and old friends reappear. We cried a little and held each other and tried to be brave.

Unfortunately we were not assigned the coveted Penthouse when we checked into Maine Med at 9 o'clock. Instead we were shown into a room down the hall! But as luck would have it, the Penthouse became available that afternoon. Thanks to my dogged persistence :D Peter was transferred bed and all. He is happy to be in the bright airy room.

Today started out with some anxiety since Peter's platelet count had dropped dramatically to 62000. Dr Boyd decided to do a bone marrow biopsy to determine if Peter is still in remission before starting treatment. Peter put on Duke Ellington for the procedure. Dr. Boyd loves listening to jazz as he found out the first time he had a biopsy. Sadly he was in considerable pain this time.

At 4 we got the good news that Peter continues to be in remission and by 5:30 he was hooked up to his constant companion for the next five days, the chemo drip. Peter's blood will be wiped out again just like last time. Like last time he will be at the hospital for about 3 weeks.

Returning to Gibson yesterday was quite an experience, a homecoming of sorts. There were smiles and hugs and genuine joy to see us as we walked past the three nursing stations. Nikita, an orderly [yes, he is Russian], wanted to know if we brought the table cloth and the lamp he likes so much. There were questions about what I'd prepare for dinner. Being welcomed in such a warm manner eased our pain. We felt safe and taken care of.

The decision for dinner last night was made when I went to Rosemont Market in the afternoon. I couldn't believe my luck to find a rack of goat, one of Peter's favorite meats. I marinated it with rosemary, garlic, Bahamian sea salt Mary brought back from their recent vacation, coarse pepper and olive oil. I sauteed it in a very hot cast iron skillet. With it we enjoyed New Jersey asparagus, baby tomatoes filled with basil puree and another favorite of Peter's, corn. Peter was in heaven!